Sweet Caroline
by A. Windsor
Summary: It's hard to be Thing Three!  A day in the life of Callie/Arizona's third child.  Thing!verse


Title: Sweet Caroline

Author: A. Windsor

Pairing/Characters: Callie/Arizona

Rating: G

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. My one semester of law school could allow me to legalese this a little more, but it also tells me it's pretty useless. So please don't sue; it's not mine, I'm just playing!

Series: Thing!verse (Previously known as AU!verse)

Summary: It's hard to be Thing Three!

Author's Note: Thing!verse returns with a vengeance after taking a hiatus post-_Kiss the Girl_. (We all needed to recover.) A day in the life of Caroline 'd by the wonderful, snarky roughian. Thanks, you weirdy reindeer; I know I'm demanding!

* * *

><p>"Si tu momma supiera qué bruta estás portándote, Caroline Grace..." [If your momma knew how badly you were behaving...]<p>

Their most willful child keeps her arms crossed and her scowl in place. Callie looks down to realize that she's doing the exact same thing. She quickly lowers her hands to her sides but maintains her steady eye contact with defiant young Caroline. The six-year-old is a formidable opponent certainly, but she can only hold out a few seconds longer, dropping her eyes to the floor. It's longer than her other siblings would've stood their ground.

"Would you like to tell me _why_ you did what you did?"

Caroline shrugs. Callie fights down the urge to scream with a strangled groan. She takes a deep breath and squats down to her level, hands on the girl's elbows.

"Ya sabes cómo portarte in daycare. No entiendo por qué you're acting así, pero no me gusta para nada, Caroline. Not okay. I can't believe you got kicked out of the nursery." [You already know how to behave in daycare. I don't understand why you're acting this way but I don't like it at all...]

Caroline says nothing, eyes trained on the tiles of the hospital hallway. Callie blows out a breath and looks around. She's got a surgery soon and with Caroline banned from the nursery, she's going to have to find something else to do with her. Her salvation stands, idly chatting at a nearby nurses' station. She takes Cari's hand and drags her over.

"I'm pulling the godparent card," she declares to startled Drs. Yang and Karev. "Take her, both of you. Have lunch with your goddaughter if you would like her to survive the day. She got kicked out of daycare."

"Torres..." Alex starts.

Callie (gently) shoves Caroline towards Alex. The sullen girl actually does brighten as her godfather takes her hand, and Alex shakes his head and gives her a little smile as Caroline's madre stalks off without another word.

"Thing Three, you are so much trouble," Cristina accuses, with a surprisingly tender hand brushing over Caroline's dark locks.

"What did you do, kid?" Alex questions as he turns them towards the cafeteria.

"Pushed Jace."

"Why'd you do that?" Cristina asks.

"He's a buttface."

Cristina snickers, although she knows she probably shouldn't encourage this. Her Robbins-Torres goddaughter is just so awesome (not that Ally Shepherd isn't wonderful in her own ways, of course).

"You can't just push people because they're buttfaces, Caroline," Alex says conversationally. "You need to have a better reason."

"Yeah, why was he a buttface?" Cristina questions.

Look at them: kinda, sorta parenting.

"He knocked Susie down on the playground and called her a crybaby when she skinned her knee and cried."

"Well, that's okay, then," Cristina supports her, getting an approving nod from the six-year-old. "He deserved it."

Alex studies the girl's face and the way she fidgets idly with one of the pigtails that hangs over her slim shoulder. There's guilt at the edges of her expression, and she gives it away as easily as either of her mothers would've.

"Wait. Did you _just_ push him?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.

Caroline sighs grandly, dark eyes skittering to the side.

"And hit him. In the face a little."

"Thing Three," Cristina scolds, though she's holding back a laugh.

"Maybe you should've stopped at the push, dude."

"She's my best friend!"

"I get that," Cristina shrugs.

"Yeah, but punching him was a little excessive." Alex is the voice of reason.

"Just once!" Caroline defends earnestly, arms held out defensively, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Did he bleed?" Cristina asks.

Caroline shakes her head negatively. "But he cried!"

Cristina can't keep it in any long and barks out a laugh. Caroline grins at the sound. Alex sighs, smirking.

"Try to stick to pushing. Okay, Car'?"

"Okay, Uncle Alex."

"Alright. You're hungry, right?"

"Yes, sir," Caroline nods.

"Lead the way to the cafeteria, Thing Three," Cristina grins. "If you're good, Uncle Alex and Aunt Cristina will teach you how to running stitch on a banana."

"Cool."

Caroline runs a little ahead. Cristina turns to Alex.

"We totally got the badass one."

"Totally."

* * *

><p>"Why are you so much trouble?"<p>

Caroline, previously pushed up on her toes to stare at Merryweather, Fauna, and Briar Rose, falls back to onto her heels and looks up at her momma, confused.

"Perdona, Momma," she says, thinking, since everyone's still a little mad, that's probably the best thing to say right now.

Arizona sighs and brushes the end-of-the-day stray wisps of hair from Caroline's eyes, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

"You _have_ to stay in daycare, and that means no hitting. You know that."

"Yes, ma'am."

Arizona wrinkles her brow, staring her younger daughter down.

"Okay."

"Don't feed the chickies without _meeee_!"

Teo's voice interrupts as the three-year-old comes barreling across the backyard with one shoe on, an exasperated Callie behind him on the back porch.

"Mateo! El otro zapato, por favor, mi amor." [The other shoe, please, my love.]

Teo freezes, torn, looking between his moms. He turns to his mother, holding out his hands.

"Wait." An afterthought. "Please."

"Okay, Teo," Arizona laughs. "We'll wait."

"Necesitas zapatos para feed the chickies, hermanito," Caroline reproaches. [You need shoes to feed the chickies, little brother.]

Cari and Arizona share a grin and a headshake at the youngest Robbins-Torres's silliness. Arizona gives up the last of her annoyance. It's so hard to stay mad at her Thing Three.

"Better, Tiny Dancer?" Arizona grins as Teo runs up, breathless.

"Yes'm," he grins, holding his arms out to be picked up.

Arizona hauls him onto her hip.

"Cari-baby, wanna get the food?"

Caroline smiles and hurries to the securely closed feed bins, grabbing two scoops.

"Momma, the sun's in my eyes," Teo complains of the setting sun, throwing his little hands over his face.

Arizona shades his eyes for him as he begins to sing:

"_Mister Sun, Sun. Mister Golden Sun. Please shine down on me."_

Arizona rolls her eyes and kisses his temple. It's like living with a jukebox. Caroline giggles and joins in while the chickens cluck happily at the prospect of dinner.

* * *

><p>After feeding the chickens, they head in for their own dinner.<p>

Lena, Asa, and Mami are already waiting for them, the table set. The three chicken feeders wash their hands, and then Caroline plops down into her chair across from Lena while Arizona drops Teo in next to her. Mami asks Asa to say grace tonight and then they all quickly dig in. With four growing kids, food gets devoured quickly in no time in the Robbins-Torres household.

"Leni, stop kickin' me," Caroline complains, kicking her sister right back under the table.

"Ow!" Lena whines when Caroline lands a blow on the nine-year-old's shin. She gets a good stuck-out tongue in before their moms notice.

"Caroline," Callie scolds.

"She started it!"

"No kicking, either of you," Arizona orders as Asa hands her the peas. The eleven-year-old seems terribly bored by his sisters' antics.

The girls grumble and turn back to their meals. Lena reaches for her milk while Caroline starts in on the mashed potatoes she was sure to grab first.

"Asa," Teo says, spoon at the ready. "Dáme las papas." [Give me the potatoes.]

"What do you say, Teo?" Callie calls from the other end of the table as the chaos of four children under twelve, all reasonably able to feed themselves, takes over.

Teo scrunches his brow.

"The magic word," Asa reminds, passing the mashed potatoes to their momma in between them.

"Oh! Please!"

Caroline gets one last subtly vindictive kick in at her big sister's shins while her madre is distracted by her baby brother's antics. Lena makes a face but knows better than to retaliate, for fear of the scolding she avoided earlier. Caroline grins triumphantly and returns to making mashed potato mountains.

* * *

><p>"I'll sit with Cari!" Teo declares, throwing himself forcefully into her lap.<p>

"Oof, Teo, you're squishin' me," Caroline complains as they all settle into Lena's bed for their nightly stories. Even Lena and Asa join them, even though they can read chapter books by themselves now.

"Perdona, Cari," [Sorry,] Teo says, even as he presses further into her unwilling lap.

Caroline sighs and frees her arms enough to drape them more comfortably around his waist. Their blankies, green and yellow, tangle at her right knee, and Teo happily pops his pacifier into his mouth as Mami snuggles into the middle. Lena presses up close to Mami's other side while Asa sits more aloofly, cross-legged on Lena's fluffy pillows.

First, they read the baby stuff, _Curious George_, for Teo. Tiny Dancer excitedly bounces as he adds commentary, his bony butt digging sharply into Caroline's thighs when he comes back down and eliciting several grunts from his put-upon older sister. Caroline is getting annoyed, but Mami gives her a sympathetic, encouraging smile, and she resigns herself to her fate.

They soon get to their new chapters of _The Secret Garden_. Mami doesn't do the voices quite as well as Momma does, but she's pretty good, and Lena provides some help from time to time. Teo settles down, since there are no pictures to distract and amuse him and he only has Mami's steady voice to soothe him to sleep. By the end, he's snoring against Caroline's shoulder with abandon.

"Ayúdame, por favor," [Help, please,] she says softly, as everyone starts to get off of Lena's bed to go to their own to get tucked in for the night.

"Aw, pobrecita," Mami laughs, kissing Caroline's head as she lifts Teo into her arms. "You're a good big sister, Caroline. You protect people. Just don't punch anybody else on the playground, okay?"

Caroline opens her mouth to protest, but Mami cuts her off with a warm, sloppy kiss to her cheek.

"Sí, Mami," Caroline wrinkles her nose.

"Ándate a la cama, m'ija. Momma te espera to kiss you goodnight." [Go to bed, baby. Momma's waiting for you...]

"Night, Mami. Te quiero."

"Love you, too, Caroline. Sweet dreams."

* * *

><p>"Hey, girlie. Heard your brother made you a Cari pancake," Momma greets with one of her customary Momma smiles, holding the covers open for Caroline.<p>

Caroline nods affirmatively and dives under the covers with a little grunt, mussing her hair, blankie trailing behind her. Momma laughs as Cari scurries up to lay her head on the pillow.

"He's got a bony butt."

"He does!" Momma agrees brightly, sitting her hip on the edge of Caroline's bed.

"Am I still in trouble, Momma?"

Momma narrows her eyes and then shakes her head conspiratorially.

"Did you just hit him the once?"

"Like you taught us," Caroline nods insistently, big eyes wide.

Momma looks over her shoulder to see if Mami is spying, 'cause she's not really supposed to be teaching them to punch people.

"Show me," Momma says softly, holding up her hands, flat, ready for the blow.

Caroline pushes herself up, shimmying to get the right angle, and forms a fist like Momma and Grandpa have taught her. She knits her brow and pulls back before punching Momma's hand, _hard_.

Momma lets out a little "Oof" and then grins at her. She ruffles Caroline's hair and gently pushes her back onto the pillows as Cari beams.

"Nice work, Care Bear," Momma praises. "But not at daycare, okay? Not unless you really have to protect somebody for real. ¿Me entiendes?" [Understand?]

"Yes, ma'am," Caroline sighs, snuggling into her covers, green blankie firmly in hand, refraining from giggling at her mother's pronunciation.

Momma leans down and peppers kisses on the girl's face.

"Goodnight, my little angel. I love you so much."

"Love you, too, Momma," Caroline insists, suddenly caught by a giant yawn. She giggles and threads her arms around her momma's neck for a quick squeeze before falling back into the pillows.

"Have a good sleep."

"Okay, I'll try."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite."

"I won't. I'll just punch 'em."

Momma snorts, covering her laugh with one hand.

"Oh, Thing Three," she sighs, planting one last kiss on her forehead. "You are so much _trouble._"

* * *

><p>el fin<p> 


End file.
